Dear Counsellor

Dear Counsellor

find that I am experiencing feelings of loneliness. have a very successful careerand I am always surrounded by people. However, I still feel alone as I do not know them personally. At the end of each day I go home and I am all by myself.

Dear Writer

The first step in overcoming loneliness is to admit you are experiencing this feeling; so this is a step in the right direction. Loneliness is an internal painful emptiness experienced by many at times. In order to prevent loneliness it is important to build meaningful contact with others. Are there any social clubs to attend in your area? An internet search should provide some information. Alternatively you can check the notice board of your local library. You may be surprised what is available. In building meaningful contact, you must also be willing to accept the friendship of others. It is important to also remember that relationship building takes time, effort and commitment.

Loneliness can also occur because people are self-defeating in their attitudes or actions, restrained by a poor view of themselves, or lacking in effective social skills.

By improving social skills, communication ability and healthy realistic attitudes toward life, we are better able to relate to others and avoid loneliness.  

Often it is easy to provide solutions; however, these are often short-term and the problem returns. It is important to consider the causes. These can be divided into five categories:• Social – In times of change and turmoil. There is a suggestion that rapid social changes may result in loneliness by isolating people from having close contact with each other. Such changes include technology, business and education. • Developmental – Unmet early year’s needs. Attachment – growing up feeling lonely because of an absent parent(s). Acceptance – wanting to feel a sense of belonging.• Psychological – a person’s perception – the way they see the world• Situational – Things that pull a person into a lonely role such as a carer or leadership that separates leaders and followers• Spiritual – sin alienate us from God.

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